Sober Philosophy: The End of Friendships (Huyen presents)

The end of a romantic relationship is one of the most common human experiences, bordering on universal. The same can be said for when platonic friendships end. The former is the focus of countless songs, stories, etc around the world. The latter is barely discussed— in fact, most of us would struggle to name any song, film, or novel centering on a friendship ending (a rare example is the 2022 film *"The Banshees of Inisherin"*). The relative dearth of cultural attention to the phenomenon is curious, considering that friendships are arguably more emotionally essential for our well-being. What makes platonic friendships, and the end of them, so different from romantic relationships?

*Suggested Questions:*

1. Why do we have recognizable rituals for romantic breakups\, but so few for friendship endings?

2. Why might rejection by a friend feel more difficult to explain\, or more shameful\, than rejection by a romantic partner?

3. Does the end of a friendship diminish what it once meant?

4. Do we always owe friends an explicit breakup\, or is quietly withdrawing sometimes kinder?

5. When old friends reconnect\, are they restoring a friendship or beginning a new one?

Symptom-free (of potentially contagious disease) people with the capacity to listen considerately to diverse viewpoints are invited to attend after successfully RSVPing.

We begin the meeting at 7:30 pm sharp at the mezzanine above the lobby of the Graduate Hotel in the University District: 4507 Brooklyn Ave NE, Seattle, WA 98105.

Directions for first-timers at the Graduate Hotel: From the front hotel entrance go to the right. Turn left around the corner to enter through the north valet entrance. If the valet questions you just say you're here for the philosophy group. Go straight to the main lobby and turn right behind the large bookshelves before the elevators. Enter the stairway on your left, go up one flight, and go through the first door you encounter to enter our meeting area.

2-MINUTE OPENING ROUNDTABLE FORMAT (2ORF):

1. The topic presenter begins the discussion by taking up to two minutes explaining why they are interested in the topic and some introductory thoughts on it. 2. Each participant in turn going clockwise from the presenter has up to two minutes to describe their general thoughts on the topic. 3. If one is not ready to speak they can just say “pass” and the next person speaks. 4. After we've gone around once anyone who passed will get a second chance to comment. 5. Once everyone has given opening remarks or passed twice, Opening Roundtable is completed and the meeting shifts into TDRF>4 below.

TIMED DIRECTION FORMAT: We will use the format below.

1. We will divide up the timed direction discussion time by the number of participants plus one (for a buffer). A timer will be set for this amount of time. 2. Each participant in turn will become a Discussion Director and lead the group discussion. 3. If one is not ready to direct they simply say “pass” and the next person becomes the Discussion Director. 4. Anyone who arrives after step 1 (above), may participate but will not get a turn as Discussion Director. 5. The Discussion Director can make statements or ask questions, or interrupt or redirect the discussion at their discretion. 6. The discussion participants can state their own opinions only when asked by the Discussion Director, not Interrupt others and accede to the Discussion Director’s interruptions or redirections. 7. When the timer goes off the person speaking finishes their thought and then the next participant clockwise becomes the next Discussion Director. 8. After we've gone around once anyone who passed will get a second chance to direct.

At the end of the meeting, participants will have an opportunity to vote on the topic and format for the following meeting.